Are your parents married or divorced?
married … 26 years in May

Are you a vegetarian?
as a matter of fact, I am

Do you believe in Heaven?
no

Have you ever come close to dying?
maybe?

What jewelry do you wear 24/7?
a heart ring my grandma gave me when I was six

Are you eating?
no

Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
when I have to eat broccoli

Do you wear makeup?
yes, but usually just foundation and mascara

Would you ever have plastic surgery?
only if I were in an accident

What do you wear to bed?
funny you should ask. tonight my pajamas consist of a Clay Aiken shirt (long story) and Vera Bradley “Yellow Bird” sleep shorts
Have you ever done anything illegal?
yes

Can you roll your tongue?
yes

What is your Hair color?
brown

Do you smoke?
no

If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
EVERYWHERE!

Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
yes

If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
pay for college so my parents don’t have to

Gold or silver?
silver

Hamburger or hot dog?
neither

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

fruits!

City, beach or country?
can’t choose

What was the last thing you touched?
keyboard…

Where did you eat last?
in my room

When’s the last time you cried?
earlier today

Do you read blogs?
tons

Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
maybe for a party or something? I don’t know

Ever been involved with the police?
nope

what’s your favorite shampoo/conditioner and soap?
Bumble & bumble

Do you talk in your sleep?
sometimes

Ocean or pool?
ocean

What’s your favorite song at the moment
“Festival” by …And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead
have you ever had a cavity?
yes 

Window seat or aisle seats?
window

Ever met anyone famous?
BJ Novak

Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?
hmmm. tough question

Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
twirl

What is your fav. sport to play?
tennis

Basketball or football?
Football

Do you drive a stick?
no

Cake or ice cream?
can I have both?

Are you self-conscious?
yes

Do you like any of your close friends?
haha, yes

Have you ever given money to a bum?
no
Have you been in love?
yes

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
yes

Can you tango?
never have

Last gift you received?
pashminas, a Barbie, and chocolates from my mom for Valentines Day haha

What occasion did you receive your gift?
Valentine’s Day gift from mom

Last thing you spent lots of money on?
clothes or food

But first of all…

I know it’s much too late to discuss the inauguration because, let’s face it, it’s 2009 and everything that can be said about it has already been said and I don’t want to sound like a broken record for anyone who might stumble across this lowly blog.

However comma…

can I just say that I fully support Aretha Franklin’s headwear choice for her performance of My Country Tis of Thee? I’ve gotten kind of a love/hate vibe from people, but I think it was the bomb.com.

I.want.that.hat.

I don’t know where I would wear it, but I want it. Maybe just to hang casually on my wall?

Aaaaand I don’t want to get biased but I’m totally happy our country is now being run by someone who isn’t a moron.

Anywho.

This quarter? Starting to suck. You know how I said that I really want to do well? Not happening. I’ve taken 2 quizzes and a test so far and done miserably on all three. If I want to redeem myself, I need to start busting ass. I’m thinking the library and I are going to become very close this quarter.

Don’t get me started on S. I don’t think it’s gonna happen anymore. I’m not upset or anything, but it was nice to have a prospect. Oh, well. I can focus that attention on schoolwork. Ha, that sounds…I don’t know.

I’m tired. It’s finally the weekend. Except I still have to do lots of work since I’ve possessed so much suck so far. Joy.

At least I get to go grocery shopping tomorrow. I think I’m going to buy some tea.

Sorry for the sentence fragments.

I’ve been avoiding a post for a long time because I have so much to write about, but I’ve decided to just go ahead and write one or else everything will start building up more and more until I quit this thing altogether because I’m so overwhelmed. I don’t want that to happen. I’ve been doing very well with this blog so far, and while nobody reads it, it’s still a good place for me to record my thoughts and feelings.

Annnnnnnnnyway.

I’ve decided this quarter is going to be my most challenging thus far, and if I want to do as well as (if not better) than I did last quarter, I really have to work my ass off. There isn’t really a class that’s my “bullshit” class. All of them are equally demanding. It’s exciting and scary at the same time. This is the first time I’ve thought, “shit, I’m in college. I actually have to read everything that’s assigned to me and not half-ass homework/projects.” I guess I’ve been pretty lucky in the year and a quarter that I’ve been here where I could just carry on my high school habits of not putting my best efforts because I was too lazy. I can’t do that anymore. I guess it’s kind of ironic that I’m saying that I have so much to do and then I’m blogging, but I’ve read some for philosophy today and I’ll read the rest tomorrow AND I promise I’ll go to the library to start my project pitch for journalism that’s due on the 27th and I was assigned on, oh…the 6th. Yeah. I’m trying. And, let’s not talk about how, when I finish this post, I’m not going to get the rest of my philosophy reading out of the way, but rather finish reading the last issue of Interview. I definitely have my priorities in order.

I decided to join PRSSA. I figured I needed something besides the sorority after I quit Speakeasy last quarter, but I didn’t want to jump into something else in the middle, so when I got an e-mail telling me about the meeting and that new members were welcome, I decided to try it out. My mom has been trying to get me to join for awhile, and I wish I had done it sooner because it seems like there are a lot of great networking opportunities.

Moving onto what people really care about when they read blogs. Haha, I kid. Maybe.

I’ve realized that I’m finally able to discuss J with T, which I think means a lot to T because when I couldn’t, he was always talking about how he didn’t really have anyone to talk about his situation with. We had a long chat last week, and from what he says, I really helped. That makes me feel really good. This is exactly where I wanted to get with T, friends who are able to talk about whatever without feelings getting in the way. 

Besides the fact that it’s been about three months since T and I broke up, there’s another reason why I think it’s so much easier for me to talk about J. S and I have been talking a lot lately and…

he made me dinner on Friday.

Eep.

Allow me to back up and elaborate. 

S kept asking me when we were hanging out, and finally it was decided that he would cook me dinner since he really likes to cook and he was good at it.

So, Friday night around 8, I drove out to his place. He goes to school about 20 minutes away, in an area that’s even more rural than where my school is. I drove past his house four times before finally realizing it was his because the road wasn’t lit at all, and there wasn’t a house number in plain sight. The first thing he asked me when I came in was, “Did you find the place okay?”

Negative, S.

Shortly thereafter we sat down to a dinner of…I don’t know what it was called. It was wheat pasta with tomatoes and white sauce with zucchini? He was going to make some sort of eggplant dish but his local Kroger is so small it didn’t have eggplant! So he was forced to improvise and…

not something I would advise anyone to eat. I feel horrible saying that, absolutely horrible. I’m sure everything would have been delicious on its own, but not altogether. It actually gave me heartburn for a little bit. I could tell he was really embarrassed when he tried it himself and it didn’t taste how he was hoping it would.

The salad, on the other hand, was quite nice

After that, he gave me a tour of his place. While it was your typical guys’ pad – some dirty dishes in the sink, posters of girls in bikinis, video games strewn everywhere – it had a very homey feeling to it. The only source of heat for the whole house (you have to remember that this is in a very rural area) is a propane heater called WarmMorning in the living room. The walls are wood-paneled and the furniture is worn in but cozy, not ratty. Guys live there, yes, but it’s not disgusting. It’s comfortable.

The tour ended after about thirty seconds, and he asked if I wanted to watch some of the second season of The Office.

Duh, S. It’s only my favorite show ever. 

The DVD player is broken, he remembers. So we turn on House and sit down and talk.

For three hours.

We suddenly realize it’s midnight and he has to get up in six hours to work. He asks what I’m doing later in the weekend. I say I’m busy Saturday night but other than that I’m free. He gives me a hug, tells me to drive safely, and to text him later.

Was it a date?

I don’t know. But I chickened out Saturday. Chickened out yesterday. At 11:56 last night he texted me.

S: Whats up

L: Not a lot, just bummin around. You?

S: Same, bored.

L: Me too. I don’t know where anybody is, it’s strangely quiet around here.

Aaaaand then he didn’t respond. I don’t know. I guess he fell asleep. Whatever, I’m not looking too much into it. I’m afraid to overanalyze because it usually gets me in trouble, so I’m just going to stop talking about this.

This post took me entirely too long to write. I kept having to leave and come back because there was just so much and my undiagnosed ADD prevented me from sitting still long enough to write over 1000 words. If anybody reads all of this, I commend you.

Now it’s time to be productive. For realz. Meh.

…to become better friends with my roommate and the girls in my class, not E’s. They’re great, but they’re graduating a year before I am, so if I only hang out with them, I’ll have nobody my senior year. 

…to try to like S more, because I think he likes me. 

…to get over T. 

I’m not succeeding much at any of these. I hope that changes. Soon.

I’m going to stop worrying about him like that. I have a lot of other things to focus my attention on, and I even might have someone else interested in me? I don’t want to get my hopes up, but S and I have been talking a lot lately (sober), and he asked me yesterday when we were going to hang out. We’ll see how that one develops.

I really thought this post was going to be longer but I’m just so exhausted from this week. I had stomach trouble earlier today but I think it was because I ate chicken and meat just hates me. This weekend I might post something more detailed, but it doesn’t really matter since nobody reads this. Whatever.

Sort by song title
-First Song: About a Girl - The Academy Is…
-Last Song: 1234 – Feist

Sort by time
-Shortest Song: Drunk Drivin’ – Sublime (00:18)
-Longest Song: Delicate Few – O.A.R (13:33)
Sort by album 
-First album: Abba Gold Greatest Hits – Abba
-Last album: 808s and Heartbreak – Kanye West

Top Five Most Played Songs
1. Gracie – Ben Folds
2. Annie Waits – Ben Folds
3. Still (Reprise) – Ben Folds (notice a pattern going on here?)
4. Landed – Ben Folds
5. Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk – Rufus Wainwright

First song that comes up on Shuffle: The Wanderer – O.A.R.

Search the following and state how many songs come up
-Death – 13
-Life – 41
-Love – 92
-Hate – 10
-You – 175
-Sex – 9

Let me start out by saying that I love my school, and there is no other school I would rather be going back to. We have a six week winter break that lasts from Thanksgiving til New Years. By this time, most people are itching to get back to school. It’s in the middle of nowhere, but my school is one that is very closely connected to the town, which will be referred to as A-town thus forward. You walk out the student center and you’re practically downtown. The atmosphere of A-town is ideal for a college as it is rich in culture yet it still appeals to the interests of college-age students (aka there are 19 bars on a two-block stretch).

Anyway, while most of my classmates are already back in A-town because they just couldn’t wait to return, I’m putting off my arrival as much as possible, for several reasons. First of all, as I mentioned in my first post, I live in a sorority house with 39 other girls. This means I have zero privacy and zero quiet. It’s loud even during finals week. The walls are paper thin and while I love my sisters, I really value my ‘me’ time. I’ve been able to have a ton of that during break, and it’s so nice to sleep in my own big bed that I don’t have to climb a ladder of death to get into and get to sleep peacefully through the night without being woken up by either girls coming back from a party or drunk people walking on the sidewalk that runs right behind the house. It’s nice to be able to listen to my music without headphones. It’s nice to spend time with my family and my dogs. I missed them so much last quarter.

Secondly, and this is kind of petty, but being back at school means a much much much larger chance of running into T. We’ve talked a ton over break and we’re fine. I guess I’m more worried about seeing T with J. I’m over him for the most part, but I know if I see them together it’s still going to hurt. We have class in the same building, though I’m not sure if it’s at the same time. I have a strange feeling that once things start taking off with J, T might completely stop communicating with me. It wouldn’t surprise me, that’s all I have to say.

I guess there are some things I am looking forward to regarding this quarter. C and I are friends again, which eliminates a huge source of stress and anxiety I had last quarter. She feels the same way about going back as I do, which is comforting because I know I’m not the only one. When I arrive in A-town, we have plans to get Jimmy John’s, so that should put me in a pretty good mood for a night full of unpacking and preparing for classes which start for me at 8 am on Monday. Joy.

Another good thing about this quarter is that my skin will be clearing up. I started Accutane on Tuesday, and I haven’t noticed anything but the dry skin/chapped lips that are common side effects of the medication, but I’m confident it will work. If it worked for T, I’m sure it can work for me. Rhyme not intended.

My mom is convinced that this quarter is going to be a good one for me. She thinks something big will happen regarding either my major or my love life. This belief was confirmed, she says, by her catching sight of a shooting star. Kind of a crazy idea she has going on there, but I secretly hope she’s right. 

I suppose I should go to bed; it’s quarter to 3 and I have a three hour drive to rest up for. At least I have sweet new music to listen to on the drive down.

I’m in a band. It’s called Twardocice. Our debut album, Come Sooner Or Later, hits stores next Tuesday, and it looks like this: 

Okay, so this is actually a fun little game I got from Paperlilies. It works like this:

1. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random The first article title on the page is the name of your band.
2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/ The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

Enjoy!

• First Cigarette (and last) – long story short, I was very drunk and paid C  a whole dollar for one of her Camels. I’m not proud of this, but, unfortunately, it had to make the list.
• First Time Getting High (and, again, last) – another thing I am not particularly proud of but must make the list. A boy (I say ‘boy’ and not ‘guy’ because he was extremely immature) with whom I messed around with for a good part of my freshman year asked me to smoke pot with him, and, not wanting to disappoint him, I said yes. We watched Jurassic Park and it was a lot scarier than it usually is. I then returned back to my dorm around 3 am and proceeded to eat half a full-sized bag of Tostitos.
• My First Time – I normally wouldn’t put something as personal as this on a public site where anyone could read it, but the fact that it lasted all of 20 seconds and didn’t result in a baby, STD, or even the big O changes things. And the fact that it was with the dud mentioned above.
• First Time Voting – Now this is exciting. Not only was it my first time voting, it was in a major presidential election. On November 4, 2008, I Baracked the vote and made a difference. 
• First Sporting Event That Evoked Strong Emotions In Me - When Kansas beat Memphis in the NCAA final championships, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. End of story.
• First Time Living With A Republican – For 19 years, I was fortunate enough to share spaces with people who shared my political views. I’m sure it would be easy to live with many Republicans. But one who wished death on our president-elect and had never even heard of Michelle Obama? Not so much.
• First Boyfriend - T, an absolutely wonderful guy.
• First Breakup – obviously T, still a wonderful guy, however, one who unfortunately contributed to damaging my heart.
• First Job – at a country club with a boss who insisted my name was Chris
• First Solo Road Trip - to Cincinnati to visit my sorority sister, J
• First Time Seeing Ben Folds (and hopefully not the last) – On October 8, I finally got to see my favorite musical artist, BEN FOLDS. It was fantastic and I can’t wait until I can see him in concert again.
• First Time Meeting a Celebrity – On November 8, I got to see BJ Novak (Ryan from The Office) do stand-up at my school and I met him and got a picture with him afterwards.

I can’t wait to see what 2009 will bring

I can’t keep my damn mouth shut. I just had to go and tell C something that I’d promised T  I wouldn’t tell anyone, especially her. Now, I’m pretty sure he hates me. I poured my heart out in an apology to him and he said while he was sure I’d meant it, he “wasn’t ready to discuss this yet”. 

The thing that sucks the most is that it wasn’t really that big of a deal, what I had told C. It was actually a pretty funny story, something that I feel like most people would look back on and laugh about. I know I should have respected T’s wishes; I’m not saying that what I did was right in any way. 

It’s just going to be weird not talking to him, because we always talk. I was finally getting over him and being completely happy that we were friends, and I had to go and ruin that. I really wish I sucked less as a human being.

I know people rarely keep New Year’s resolutions, but I guess now would be a good time to figure out mine and actually make an effort to keep them.

For 2009, I resolve to:

• Follow through with things more – aka KEEPING PROMISES
• Try harder – give everything the effort it deserves and not just the half-assed bullshit I usually pull
• Write more & hone my journalistic skills/z
• Be more conscious about my spending…if I don’t need it, I shouldn’t buy it
• Take better care of myself , physically, emotionally, etc. Don’t dress like a slob all the time, remember what I deserve, yadda  yadda yadda. But, really.
• Bring my accum GPA up as much as I possibly can and get to know at least one of my professors

That’s it for now. I’m glad I actually have a log of this and I can go back to look at it. If I think of more, I’ll add them.